I have been known throughout my life to have dreams that tell me what is going to happen in the future. I don't really call them psychic dreams, although most of them feel that way. I never quite know when or how these dreams are going to manifest into reality, and some of them are symbolic and not very specific as to what the ACTUAL EVENT will be. If you look back in my posts to about a year ago, you will see where I blogged about the tornado dream. Two tornadoes came and threatened my family, they destroyed everything around our property, but we were untouched and not hurt. In fact one tornado took me to another state, and I called my son to see if he was okay and he said "business is GREAT!" This dream was not very specific, but it gave me consolation that no matter what terrible things happen, my family and I will be fine and we will prosper. This dream came true. I have been working a few jobs, I met Andy and fell in love, we built the band project, I am learning to promote myself and BUSINESS IS GREAT. It was a nice touch how the dream tornado took me to a different state, because as it turns out, I am not in a place in my life that I never thought I would be. I am in love, going to be married soon and I am a housewife, a rockstar and working at home selling my band. Its awesome.
This is not the dream I am here to blog about, however.
About 13 years ago I was in a very bad place. My husband was very ill, we lost our house, we were drowning in debt, and our life was literally a living hell. I could not see the future. We lived each day in darkness, moment by moment. My stress level was so high I had constant headaches, backaches, stomach aches...it was horrible. One night, however, I had a very vivid dream that I lived in a tiny, cluttered house, but when I opened a door to what I thought was a closet, I saw before me a gigantic mansion with hundreds and hundreds of rooms. Everywhere I explored I found more rooms, it was my palace. The mansion was empty, and I was told that I could decorate it however I wanted. This was exciting news. When I woke up, I knew this was a message and insight to my future, but I did not know how it was going to come true. I had nothing, not even energy to get through each day...my sadness was beyond anything I could ever explain. I was not only destitute, I was hopeless.
Over the next few years, several things transpired. My husband died, I paid off my debt, I got a better job, I dated, I re-married and soon afterward I got divorced. My health was much better, and I had some money, but I still did not know how my dream was going to transpire. I often had similar dreams, where I lived in an apartment that expanded into many rooms, and I loved when those dreams came to me, because they let me know I was on the right track. I wrote, I sang, I did everything I could to be creative, but nothing actually manifested. I experienced frustration in relationships and my financial situation...I was spinning my wheels at my computer and starting to go back into debt. One day I decided to sit on my patio every morning and meditate. I am sort of an impatient person so meditating is difficult for me. I would spend about 10 minutes out there listening to birds and drinking in the cool morning air, it was great! Little by little I started receiving messages. First of all, my girlfriend told me to movemy fountain from the back yard to the front entrance of my condo. I did this, and within a week I had a job and started making money. When the fountain got dirty, the money stopped coming...so I would clean it and a new job came my way. Then I got another message to ask for a partner. I looked to heaven, and I said, "I am ready to receive help." That's when I wrote the ad to start a band and I posted in on Craigslist. Andy Long answered my ad and my life changed instantly. I now have a partner. I have never had a partner before. Andy is my partner in music, in parenting, in love...he supports me in everything I do and all that I represent, and I support him in the same way. Even though I have been married before and had several relationships...I realize that I have never had a partner before. It is a glorious feeling. I now fel that I have entered my empty palace, the spiritual mansion in my dream that I am now ready to decorate. The band is taking off, I get to write about it, sing, perform, and I will soon be taking graphics design classes so I can help promote other bands. It is a limitless opportunity to be creative and lucrative. I am so excited I can only begin to express...
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Selling Me
Well, it has happened. I have put myself to work selling "Deek & Long" and today I booked 5 gigs for the summer. To say the least, I am stoked. I made some calls, I sent some e-mails and by 4:30 this afternoon I booked 5 gigs.
Diligence is something I am learning and applying to my life. Sometimes its hard. Sometimes I just want to go on Facebook and play Farm Town all day, but there is now a little voice in my head that says "be diligent, so many people are depending on you!" and I get back to work.
I am walking now. I have never been a person who excercises on purpose, now I do. I take my vitamins, I drink water, I work and promote my band...I love it.
I'll write more later, its been a long day...
MoonGirl out.
Diligence is something I am learning and applying to my life. Sometimes its hard. Sometimes I just want to go on Facebook and play Farm Town all day, but there is now a little voice in my head that says "be diligent, so many people are depending on you!" and I get back to work.
I am walking now. I have never been a person who excercises on purpose, now I do. I take my vitamins, I drink water, I work and promote my band...I love it.
I'll write more later, its been a long day...
MoonGirl out.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Surrender
The most misunderstood concept in the Universe is "Faith". It has taken me years and tons of research and prayer to understand what faith is. Several of my studies brought up the word "surrender", which is also easily misunderstood. Surrender can help you understand faith, it is a stepping stone. Once I learned about surrender, faith came right into play. After faith comes manifestation.
So let's talk about Surrender. To most people that means to "give up", and yes that is in fact the literal translation, but consider a deeper, more powerful meaning (or empowering). Hear me out. What if surrender means to "let go"? or to "lay down arms"? When we do not have faith, we struggle, we fight, we are angry, we try to control, we grip tightly to what we have for fear we will lose it. If we can stop resisting and surrender to faith, we actually level the playing field and the very thing you were so worried about becomes a non-issue. Do you think you could actually love and give thanks for the thing that worries you the most? The truth is, the fear you have actually renders you powerless. If you bless it and LAY DOWN YOUR ARMS, you will indeed regain your empowerment over the situation and see the bigger picture.
Here is my example of surrender. For two years I wanted desperately to work at home. I did not want to go back to a 9 to 5 job, I did not want to punch a clock, I did not want to leave my children. I tried so many work at home programs and in the process I went into debt, had my credit card number stolen several times and I spiraled into fear that I would lose my home. Finally, I surrendered. I told God I understood that there as something to learn here and I would take a job if that is what was needed to get me back on track. I did get a few temp jobs over the following 8 months, they paid the bills and the jobs were actually SO SIMPLE that I was able to focus my mind on future projects. During these 8 months, my son was forced to be more self-motivating and independent. He learned some pretty valuable lessons during this time, (they were painful lessons too)...but necessary. During this time I also found a musician who I was able to work with, we fell in love, and will probably be married in the near future. All of this happened in 8 months, and it happened because I surrendered. I stopped fearing what would happen if I took a job, and I let it happen.
Another thing I fear and resist is being a salesperson. I am not good at it. This is now a work in progress, but I am surrendering to the fact that I am the person who has to promote my band. I must now learn diligence, patience, communication, confidence and stamina. Its not easy for me, I am used to being a worker bee and not a motivator. Its a very different way to live your life.
What do you fear? Take a good look at it. Don't say "it doesn't matter", because IT DOES matter. Whatever you fear will chase you. If you turn and face it, I bet you $10 it will disappear.
So let's talk about Surrender. To most people that means to "give up", and yes that is in fact the literal translation, but consider a deeper, more powerful meaning (or empowering). Hear me out. What if surrender means to "let go"? or to "lay down arms"? When we do not have faith, we struggle, we fight, we are angry, we try to control, we grip tightly to what we have for fear we will lose it. If we can stop resisting and surrender to faith, we actually level the playing field and the very thing you were so worried about becomes a non-issue. Do you think you could actually love and give thanks for the thing that worries you the most? The truth is, the fear you have actually renders you powerless. If you bless it and LAY DOWN YOUR ARMS, you will indeed regain your empowerment over the situation and see the bigger picture.
Here is my example of surrender. For two years I wanted desperately to work at home. I did not want to go back to a 9 to 5 job, I did not want to punch a clock, I did not want to leave my children. I tried so many work at home programs and in the process I went into debt, had my credit card number stolen several times and I spiraled into fear that I would lose my home. Finally, I surrendered. I told God I understood that there as something to learn here and I would take a job if that is what was needed to get me back on track. I did get a few temp jobs over the following 8 months, they paid the bills and the jobs were actually SO SIMPLE that I was able to focus my mind on future projects. During these 8 months, my son was forced to be more self-motivating and independent. He learned some pretty valuable lessons during this time, (they were painful lessons too)...but necessary. During this time I also found a musician who I was able to work with, we fell in love, and will probably be married in the near future. All of this happened in 8 months, and it happened because I surrendered. I stopped fearing what would happen if I took a job, and I let it happen.
Another thing I fear and resist is being a salesperson. I am not good at it. This is now a work in progress, but I am surrendering to the fact that I am the person who has to promote my band. I must now learn diligence, patience, communication, confidence and stamina. Its not easy for me, I am used to being a worker bee and not a motivator. Its a very different way to live your life.
What do you fear? Take a good look at it. Don't say "it doesn't matter", because IT DOES matter. Whatever you fear will chase you. If you turn and face it, I bet you $10 it will disappear.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
May 30 Marks My Third Year of Freedom
Its almost here. My third Anniversary of freedom. I have been studying healing, struggling with grief, anger and sadness since 1993, nearly 16 years...but I never truly understood what I was trying to accomplish until New Years 2006. Well, that was the turning point anyways.
A few days after new years I got a call from a friend of mine that I hadn't seen for a long time, I thought I had totally lost contact with him. Long story short, this friend helped me open my eyes to a very bad situation I was living in. The man I was married to was abusing my kids, taking drugs and hiding some pretty serious ghosts in his closet. I had turned a blind eye to all of this because I just wanted to be married and be normal. Nothing about my life had ever been normal, people were always dying, getting sick, and suffering, and I was always a failure in all that I tried to accomplish. When this man wanted to marry me, I was thrilled...I just wanted to be NORMAL. I equated normal with happy...thats how messed up in the head I was.
That Spring, I spent my days and nights dreaming about the life I really wanted. I wanted to heal. I wanted to sing. I wanted to be free, and be a great mother to my kids. I wanted to work at home and homeschool...real grass-roots kind of stuff. On May 30, 2006...I walked out, I took very little. I bought a new car and rented an apartment for me, my kids and my cat. It was scary. I filed for divorce, enrolled my kids in homeschooling and started a MLM business. After the divorce, I bought a condo and quit the MLM because it was sucking my finances dry. I started writing for a living, and it went well for a few months and then totally dried up. I also followed my aspirations of singing in a band, but nothing was panning out.
But what about the healing part? Well, for one, I was happy to be single. HAPPY! Wow, what a concept! I loved living alone, no one telling me what to do or how to live my life. I took vitamins and ate better food, drank water, walked...I allowed myself to cry and get mad...and I wrote. Writing was VERY healing for me. I experimented with manifestation, and practiced with small goals and worked up to bigger ones. Ultimately, I wanted to make money working at home, but there was a big part of me that felt it was never going to happen. So, it didn't. I fell further and further into debt and it was looking more and more like I might also lose my house. I was scared. This whole process went on for a little over two years. In my time of healing, I also assisted others in healing. I have written about these special wonderful people many times...Liz, Wendy and Mark and a few others as well. They are all still my friends, and they have all come a very long way and succeeded in accomplishing many goals.
But what about MoonGirl? I ended up taking on some pretty boring, temp jobs...but I was working and making some money. Trying to put a band together was not working out, but one day Dante's piano teacher sparked something in me...she wanted to work as a duet and play at local venues. I turned her down because we did not have the same taste in music, but I got motivated once again to start a band. I went home and wrote an ad to put on Craigslist. I wrote the ad not from a place of desperation, but from a place of empowerment. I can't remember exactly what the ad said, but it got many responses, because it sounded professional and motivating.
This is how I met Andy. Andy is the man who changed my life. Andy took my song list and made it a reality. We couldn't find band members, so he built the music himself on his computer. We became fast friends and then more...we fell in love. I never EVER knew I could fall in love like that. He loves my kids, he loves my ideas, we talk and we laugh. We plan, we build, we do things together and its fun. Its amazing.
It took me nearly three years, but I did it. My dreams are coming true. I am working at home, homeschooling, singing in a band...but the icing on the cake is that I also found love.
So, I'm here to say, it can be done. There are days when you think, "I am never going to get there. It is never going to happen." But I am here to tell you that if you stay focused, keep working and open your eyes and ears for the signs along the way that will help you out, you will get there. Start small, and build from there.
A few days after new years I got a call from a friend of mine that I hadn't seen for a long time, I thought I had totally lost contact with him. Long story short, this friend helped me open my eyes to a very bad situation I was living in. The man I was married to was abusing my kids, taking drugs and hiding some pretty serious ghosts in his closet. I had turned a blind eye to all of this because I just wanted to be married and be normal. Nothing about my life had ever been normal, people were always dying, getting sick, and suffering, and I was always a failure in all that I tried to accomplish. When this man wanted to marry me, I was thrilled...I just wanted to be NORMAL. I equated normal with happy...thats how messed up in the head I was.
That Spring, I spent my days and nights dreaming about the life I really wanted. I wanted to heal. I wanted to sing. I wanted to be free, and be a great mother to my kids. I wanted to work at home and homeschool...real grass-roots kind of stuff. On May 30, 2006...I walked out, I took very little. I bought a new car and rented an apartment for me, my kids and my cat. It was scary. I filed for divorce, enrolled my kids in homeschooling and started a MLM business. After the divorce, I bought a condo and quit the MLM because it was sucking my finances dry. I started writing for a living, and it went well for a few months and then totally dried up. I also followed my aspirations of singing in a band, but nothing was panning out.
But what about the healing part? Well, for one, I was happy to be single. HAPPY! Wow, what a concept! I loved living alone, no one telling me what to do or how to live my life. I took vitamins and ate better food, drank water, walked...I allowed myself to cry and get mad...and I wrote. Writing was VERY healing for me. I experimented with manifestation, and practiced with small goals and worked up to bigger ones. Ultimately, I wanted to make money working at home, but there was a big part of me that felt it was never going to happen. So, it didn't. I fell further and further into debt and it was looking more and more like I might also lose my house. I was scared. This whole process went on for a little over two years. In my time of healing, I also assisted others in healing. I have written about these special wonderful people many times...Liz, Wendy and Mark and a few others as well. They are all still my friends, and they have all come a very long way and succeeded in accomplishing many goals.
But what about MoonGirl? I ended up taking on some pretty boring, temp jobs...but I was working and making some money. Trying to put a band together was not working out, but one day Dante's piano teacher sparked something in me...she wanted to work as a duet and play at local venues. I turned her down because we did not have the same taste in music, but I got motivated once again to start a band. I went home and wrote an ad to put on Craigslist. I wrote the ad not from a place of desperation, but from a place of empowerment. I can't remember exactly what the ad said, but it got many responses, because it sounded professional and motivating.
This is how I met Andy. Andy is the man who changed my life. Andy took my song list and made it a reality. We couldn't find band members, so he built the music himself on his computer. We became fast friends and then more...we fell in love. I never EVER knew I could fall in love like that. He loves my kids, he loves my ideas, we talk and we laugh. We plan, we build, we do things together and its fun. Its amazing.
It took me nearly three years, but I did it. My dreams are coming true. I am working at home, homeschooling, singing in a band...but the icing on the cake is that I also found love.
So, I'm here to say, it can be done. There are days when you think, "I am never going to get there. It is never going to happen." But I am here to tell you that if you stay focused, keep working and open your eyes and ears for the signs along the way that will help you out, you will get there. Start small, and build from there.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Moving Forward
This is an amazing life. Over the past few months I have lost my drive to blog. Well, that, and I have had no time...I am sure that has a lot to do with it. Yesterday I was relieved from my temp job at Walz, I think my subconscious sabotaged it to tell you the truth...but I know there are a million and one BETTER ways to make money.
Today I must learn to move forward. Work with my strong suits instead of worrying about what happened in the past. This has always been my faltering point, but I am aware of that now and it is now time to learn to move forward.
Last year I realized it was time to ask for help and accept a partner into my life to assist me in accomplishing my goals. In December, I fell in love with Andy. He is the best man I have ever known. We make a really great team, and together we are a force to be reckoned with. I am blessed to have him in my life, he sees me for who I am and he supports me emotionally and spiritually. I can move forward now, I can be who I want to be. I can stop looking for stupid crappy jobs like pushing a button for 8 hours and just be me. Wow. What a concept!
So what does moving forward mean? How do I do this? Who am I ready to be? The door of opportunity just swung wide open, and all I have to do is step inside...
I am ready to be a work at home Mom who is married to the best man in the world. I work promoting the band, educating my kids and keeping us all healthy and happy. I walk daily, we eat good healthy food, the house is clean, I find venues and promote our band and learn new music. Life is good. I have plenty to do and it is very rewarding. This I can do. It is time to move forward. Opportunity just said, "Come In!"
Today I must learn to move forward. Work with my strong suits instead of worrying about what happened in the past. This has always been my faltering point, but I am aware of that now and it is now time to learn to move forward.
Last year I realized it was time to ask for help and accept a partner into my life to assist me in accomplishing my goals. In December, I fell in love with Andy. He is the best man I have ever known. We make a really great team, and together we are a force to be reckoned with. I am blessed to have him in my life, he sees me for who I am and he supports me emotionally and spiritually. I can move forward now, I can be who I want to be. I can stop looking for stupid crappy jobs like pushing a button for 8 hours and just be me. Wow. What a concept!
So what does moving forward mean? How do I do this? Who am I ready to be? The door of opportunity just swung wide open, and all I have to do is step inside...
I am ready to be a work at home Mom who is married to the best man in the world. I work promoting the band, educating my kids and keeping us all healthy and happy. I walk daily, we eat good healthy food, the house is clean, I find venues and promote our band and learn new music. Life is good. I have plenty to do and it is very rewarding. This I can do. It is time to move forward. Opportunity just said, "Come In!"
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Achievements and Milestones
In August 2007 I began a quest on the internet. I started a blog, I joined social sites and other posting venues and I met two amazing people. Their names are Wendy and Liz. Wendy is a stay at home mom, she homeschools her little boy, she blogs and has several on-line businesses. Liz works out of the home full-time, but she also ran an advice website and wrote some amazing blogs about her life. All three of us were searching. We were looking for our bliss, we were trying to heal, we were struggling financially...it was almost magical how we found each other on the internet and how we have remained such good friends even though we live thousands of miles apart and have never met in person.
In December 2008, something weird happened. Liz found a business opportunity that would pay us all a lot of money and we could all work from home. Long story short, I drove to Phoenix to check it out and it was a total bust. It shook me pretty hard, I thought I had finally found the thing I was looking for but it was an illusion. For about 2 weeks it felt like my whole world had crashed. It was Christmas, I had no money, I couldn't make my house payment. Liz felt terrible, she was probably worried that I was mad at her, but I wasn't. She was trying to help me build my dream, she is an amazing friend...unselfish and unyielding.
The funny thing is, this fiasco was the turning point for all of us. Life took us in three different directions. I fell in love. I found a partner who loves music as much as I do and he helped me put together a band project that is everything I ever wanted. He is the kindest man in the world. He is strong and talented, stable and caring...I could come up with a million adjectives, simply put, he ROCKS my world. A few weeks ago I sent an e-mail to both Liz and Wendy asking "what's up?" and they both wrote back to me telling me how great their lives were...they were both happy and thriving...a year ago they would not have written an e-mail like that. It was like they were two completely different people, and yet they were still the two amazing and brilliant women I have always known.
There is a moral to this story. Healing happens. Love happens. Success happens. You do get better, but you have to WANT to get better. You have to be READY to heal. When you heal, you find out who your real friends are. You might be surprised, but the people who are not your friends will drop out of your life. This is a good thing. You find truth when you seek it.
Wendy & Liz, I love you. I am so happy and proud for both of you.
MoonGirl out.
In December 2008, something weird happened. Liz found a business opportunity that would pay us all a lot of money and we could all work from home. Long story short, I drove to Phoenix to check it out and it was a total bust. It shook me pretty hard, I thought I had finally found the thing I was looking for but it was an illusion. For about 2 weeks it felt like my whole world had crashed. It was Christmas, I had no money, I couldn't make my house payment. Liz felt terrible, she was probably worried that I was mad at her, but I wasn't. She was trying to help me build my dream, she is an amazing friend...unselfish and unyielding.
The funny thing is, this fiasco was the turning point for all of us. Life took us in three different directions. I fell in love. I found a partner who loves music as much as I do and he helped me put together a band project that is everything I ever wanted. He is the kindest man in the world. He is strong and talented, stable and caring...I could come up with a million adjectives, simply put, he ROCKS my world. A few weeks ago I sent an e-mail to both Liz and Wendy asking "what's up?" and they both wrote back to me telling me how great their lives were...they were both happy and thriving...a year ago they would not have written an e-mail like that. It was like they were two completely different people, and yet they were still the two amazing and brilliant women I have always known.
There is a moral to this story. Healing happens. Love happens. Success happens. You do get better, but you have to WANT to get better. You have to be READY to heal. When you heal, you find out who your real friends are. You might be surprised, but the people who are not your friends will drop out of your life. This is a good thing. You find truth when you seek it.
Wendy & Liz, I love you. I am so happy and proud for both of you.
MoonGirl out.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Layers of the Onion
If you have done any kind of personal development work with me, you have probably heard my analogy that healing is like peeling away layers of an onion. Some layers are very thin and others are thick. My healing process has been very much like peeling layers of an onion. There always seems to be another layer, it is a never ending process.
This weekend we performed our second gig. This time the venue was a bar/club scene with young kids (very drunk kids), girls dancing with girls, bar fights...the whole nine yards. It was a a little intimidating to say the least, especially since the bar scene was never my thing. Dave Barrios played bass for us, and thanks to him, he took control of the mic and all I had to do was sing. I felt myself feeling very self-conscious...I put on a good show, but afterward (and into the next day) I was feeling small and unworthy. I even started to doubt my wonderful new boyfriend who is nothing but kind to me...I was doubting my worthiness of his love, it all started creeping back. The good news is, I was CONSCIOUS of my SUB-CONSCIOUS. I could see exactly what was happening. I just kept taking deep breaths throughout the day and soothing that little child inside of me. By the end of the day, the unworthiness fell away and I was MoonGirl again. Andy looked at me with his sweet, beaming eyes and all was right in the Universe again.
I wonder how I am going to overcome this hump...if I will ever truly be a strong frontman for this band project. I love the singing and performing part, but put a mic in front of me to SPEAK to a crowd and I am flustered. Its weird how I am like that. In my head I can see myself doing it, I can imagine myself schmoozing the crowd and introducing the next song...but when I get onstage I just can't do it. I always wonder how David Byrne did it, he was not a real social guy, but he was a showman, and he was the frontman for his band.
So, this is what I have to work on. Hmmm.
This weekend we performed our second gig. This time the venue was a bar/club scene with young kids (very drunk kids), girls dancing with girls, bar fights...the whole nine yards. It was a a little intimidating to say the least, especially since the bar scene was never my thing. Dave Barrios played bass for us, and thanks to him, he took control of the mic and all I had to do was sing. I felt myself feeling very self-conscious...I put on a good show, but afterward (and into the next day) I was feeling small and unworthy. I even started to doubt my wonderful new boyfriend who is nothing but kind to me...I was doubting my worthiness of his love, it all started creeping back. The good news is, I was CONSCIOUS of my SUB-CONSCIOUS. I could see exactly what was happening. I just kept taking deep breaths throughout the day and soothing that little child inside of me. By the end of the day, the unworthiness fell away and I was MoonGirl again. Andy looked at me with his sweet, beaming eyes and all was right in the Universe again.
I wonder how I am going to overcome this hump...if I will ever truly be a strong frontman for this band project. I love the singing and performing part, but put a mic in front of me to SPEAK to a crowd and I am flustered. Its weird how I am like that. In my head I can see myself doing it, I can imagine myself schmoozing the crowd and introducing the next song...but when I get onstage I just can't do it. I always wonder how David Byrne did it, he was not a real social guy, but he was a showman, and he was the frontman for his band.
So, this is what I have to work on. Hmmm.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I Shot For The Moon
Writing has totally taken a backseat for awhile. Everything I have always wanted in life has landed on my plate. I am extremely grateful, these amazing gifts are keeping me tremendously busy and challenged. It almost seems as though I have forgotten how to write, since most of my writing came from desires. Now I have achieved many of these things and I am simply basking in the warmth and happiness of it all.
No, I did not hit the lottery...but my music is finally taking form. I found someone who believes in me and wants to work with me on this amazing project. Besides that I have found someone who is ready to build a relationship, get to know my kids, participate in life's adventures and love me with a warmth I have never experienced before. In a million years I could never have written or asked for anything so glorious. The Universe has exceeded my expectations, I am literally in a state of ecstasy.
How does this happen? How does one achieve their dreams and experience the glory of accomplishment and happiness? My first answer is to be happy with yourself. Get to know you. This is something I have written about many times, but it is surely the first step. Have you ever seen the movie, "Runaway Bride"? Julia Roberts plays a woman who literally runs from the prospect of marriage...she doesn't understand it herself; she meets a nice man, they get to know one another, he asks her to marry him and she bolts right before the ceremony. Richard Gere is a reporter who comes to her and asks her, "how do you like your eggs?" Julia's character is perplexed...what does he mean, 'how do I like my eggs'??? Later in the movie we discover Julia never took the time to get to know herself before dating these men who wanted to marry her. She adopted their beliefs and their likes and dislikes...never believing in herself. Later she finds out 'how she likes her eggs' and she ends up with Richard Gere (of course!) This is sort of what happened to me. I had to take the time (painstaking time) to discover what it was I really wanted in life. When I finally decided I wanted to be a rockstar, I placed an ad on Craigslist stating EXACTLY what I was looking for. Andy will tell you, THAT is what made him contact me. The ad. I was determined. I was strong. I was ready to work.
I wish I had more energy to write. I am now working during the week and rehearsing on the weekends, also making sure I spend time with my kids and my new guy. I have so much, and it is WONDERFUL. Blogging has been my life for two years, now I have so many other things going on, it is difficult to keep this up. I do want to get my message out, however, and I will make time to put my word in here when I can.
MoonGirl the Rockstar, OUT.
No, I did not hit the lottery...but my music is finally taking form. I found someone who believes in me and wants to work with me on this amazing project. Besides that I have found someone who is ready to build a relationship, get to know my kids, participate in life's adventures and love me with a warmth I have never experienced before. In a million years I could never have written or asked for anything so glorious. The Universe has exceeded my expectations, I am literally in a state of ecstasy.
How does this happen? How does one achieve their dreams and experience the glory of accomplishment and happiness? My first answer is to be happy with yourself. Get to know you. This is something I have written about many times, but it is surely the first step. Have you ever seen the movie, "Runaway Bride"? Julia Roberts plays a woman who literally runs from the prospect of marriage...she doesn't understand it herself; she meets a nice man, they get to know one another, he asks her to marry him and she bolts right before the ceremony. Richard Gere is a reporter who comes to her and asks her, "how do you like your eggs?" Julia's character is perplexed...what does he mean, 'how do I like my eggs'??? Later in the movie we discover Julia never took the time to get to know herself before dating these men who wanted to marry her. She adopted their beliefs and their likes and dislikes...never believing in herself. Later she finds out 'how she likes her eggs' and she ends up with Richard Gere (of course!) This is sort of what happened to me. I had to take the time (painstaking time) to discover what it was I really wanted in life. When I finally decided I wanted to be a rockstar, I placed an ad on Craigslist stating EXACTLY what I was looking for. Andy will tell you, THAT is what made him contact me. The ad. I was determined. I was strong. I was ready to work.
I wish I had more energy to write. I am now working during the week and rehearsing on the weekends, also making sure I spend time with my kids and my new guy. I have so much, and it is WONDERFUL. Blogging has been my life for two years, now I have so many other things going on, it is difficult to keep this up. I do want to get my message out, however, and I will make time to put my word in here when I can.
MoonGirl the Rockstar, OUT.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Sometimes People Leave
In each person's life there are patterns. Look for the patterns in your life and you will start to see that there are life lessons to be learned in those patterns.
One of my patterns is that people often leave. I have experienced a lot of death in my life, and I have also have had very close friends who just decide it is time to walk away. This has been very hurtful and damaging to me in the past, but I am learning now how to just let go and send those people on their way with my blessing. This has not been easy for me.
It is true that people come into your life for a reason. Sometimes we meet a person who we think is the love of our life or our BFF and the relationship ends abruptly or without explanation. What do you do then? I have spent YEARS of my life dissecting these "why's" and I have come to realize, it is simply not worth it. What a waste of time. Sometimes people leave. Period. Our job is to love them anyway and move on with our lives. There are only 6 trillion other people on this planet you can meet. My downfall in the past has always been my thought pattern of "oh woe is me, I'll never find another person like so-and-so" and I would lament the loss for years and years, often re-living the pain and putting myself through torture wondering what went wrong. Then when I would meet someone new, I would often wonder, "how long until this one leaves?..." and I would never fully enjoy the relationship and the pattern would start all over again.
So STOP IT.
Sometimes people leave. Sometimes I leave. It happens. We all grow, we all expand, we all venture out, and we all die. There are no guarantees, and it is ok to grieve a loss for a period of time, but we are all meant to move on and go forward with our lives.
I am not trying to be harsh. I know there are circumstances where death and abandonment are horrible experiences. I cannot lay a blanket judgement on all of mankind because I do understand that separation is a sad thing. But of late I have found that many of my friends are pulling away from me, friends who said they would be there for me forever, no matter what. Guess what? They were wrong, but thats okay. I love them no matter where they go or what they do. You don't have to be by my side for me to love you. You don't have to love me back in order for me to love you. I have spent a period of sadness over this loss, but I will move on and my love for you will not change. In truth, I have not lost at all, because your spirit still exists and you will always have a piece of me with you even though you have walked away from me.
Thank you for being an important part of my life, I'm sorry you feel it is time to move on, but I understand and I will be okay.
One of my patterns is that people often leave. I have experienced a lot of death in my life, and I have also have had very close friends who just decide it is time to walk away. This has been very hurtful and damaging to me in the past, but I am learning now how to just let go and send those people on their way with my blessing. This has not been easy for me.
It is true that people come into your life for a reason. Sometimes we meet a person who we think is the love of our life or our BFF and the relationship ends abruptly or without explanation. What do you do then? I have spent YEARS of my life dissecting these "why's" and I have come to realize, it is simply not worth it. What a waste of time. Sometimes people leave. Period. Our job is to love them anyway and move on with our lives. There are only 6 trillion other people on this planet you can meet. My downfall in the past has always been my thought pattern of "oh woe is me, I'll never find another person like so-and-so" and I would lament the loss for years and years, often re-living the pain and putting myself through torture wondering what went wrong. Then when I would meet someone new, I would often wonder, "how long until this one leaves?..." and I would never fully enjoy the relationship and the pattern would start all over again.
So STOP IT.
Sometimes people leave. Sometimes I leave. It happens. We all grow, we all expand, we all venture out, and we all die. There are no guarantees, and it is ok to grieve a loss for a period of time, but we are all meant to move on and go forward with our lives.
I am not trying to be harsh. I know there are circumstances where death and abandonment are horrible experiences. I cannot lay a blanket judgement on all of mankind because I do understand that separation is a sad thing. But of late I have found that many of my friends are pulling away from me, friends who said they would be there for me forever, no matter what. Guess what? They were wrong, but thats okay. I love them no matter where they go or what they do. You don't have to be by my side for me to love you. You don't have to love me back in order for me to love you. I have spent a period of sadness over this loss, but I will move on and my love for you will not change. In truth, I have not lost at all, because your spirit still exists and you will always have a piece of me with you even though you have walked away from me.
Thank you for being an important part of my life, I'm sorry you feel it is time to move on, but I understand and I will be okay.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Become A Loyal MoonGirl Fan!
You can be a loyal fan of Project GirlontheMoon. E-mail a picture of yourself to me, along with your city, state and a short quote about the MoonGirl. Your picture will go on our MySpace Music page in a special photo album. This will help promote our band and show prospective venues that we have loyal listeners.
Send your pic to: Imaginaryrockstar@hotmail.com
Thanks!
Send your pic to: Imaginaryrockstar@hotmail.com
Thanks!
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