When life was a real struggle for me a few years ago and I was trying desperately to heal the old wounds, a very good friend of mine said something to me that has stuck over the years.
"Lisa, it's hard to stop a runaway train."
Well, I love metaphors. So, ever since then I started having a little more patience with myself. I surely did not want my runaway train to crash and burn...so I slowed it down little by little, using each experience that came into my path and opportunity to heal. This took YEARS, mind you. It seemed like an excruciatingly long process, and to this day there are moments when I see my train start to pick up speed in the wrong direction. It happens.
Each person's process is different. For me, I had to drop out of life for awhile. Hide away. Find my space and reinvent Lisa. I went to the moon. That experience was like starting over with a clean slate. It was just me and my kids, no man, no job, no pressing engagements. I had time to write, I had time to dream, I had time to sing and make friends. It was great for awhile, but of course life doesn't let you live on the moon for long. Once I had established some healing, it was time to go out into the world again and use my new skills. The train had slowed, came to a stop and was now moving in a more positive direction.
When the train starts moving in the right direction amazing things start happening. Challenges become an opportunity instead of a heartache. Anger is melted away and is replaced by warmth. Fear sits in the back seat, and although it does try to drive from time to time, faith is one who sits behind the wheel. I have stopped taking things so personally and accept the imperfection in everyone. Let me tell you, its a load off.
Did I come down from the moon? No. I am still the GirlontheMoon, but now the moon is much more colorful, it zips around the Universe and visits the stars, visitors are welcome, dreams are recycled and goals are achieved. It can be done. Slow your train, show it a new direction.
I'm the GirlontheMoon
Because its all about me
and who I want to be...
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
The Band
It's official. GirlontheMoon is a band.
Yesterday was our first rehearsal with all four components, drums, guitar, bass and vocals. We rocked 10 songs. TEN songs on our first rehearsal. (happy face here). I know, I'm such a girl. We met on Wednesday last week to discuss the song list, and ended up jamming in my kitchen with accoustics and Jeff banging wooden spoons on my tile countertop. It was GREAT! I made a suggestion (actually a plea) asking the guys to listen to one of my favorite songs. It's practically an unknown lost song of The Pretenders called "I'm a Mother". Chrissy Hinds wails and pants in this song while the guitars play low and dirty...it is...ummm...exciting! After I played it for them they all said, "Let's do it!" I was stoked! Well, they weren't kidding. When I showed up Saturday, they were ready to play my favorite song. I fumbled through it the first time, but by the second round I was wailing and panting just like Chrissy Hinds. Andy took the ball and ran, playing an extended guitar solo that would have brought the house down (if we had one). I almost cried...hahaha, but I didn't!
I didn't know that making a dream come true would actually taste so SWEET. But it is certainly, DELICIOUS!
Thanks Andy, Jeff and Bruce for working so hard to put GirlontheMoon on the map.
Yesterday was our first rehearsal with all four components, drums, guitar, bass and vocals. We rocked 10 songs. TEN songs on our first rehearsal. (happy face here). I know, I'm such a girl. We met on Wednesday last week to discuss the song list, and ended up jamming in my kitchen with accoustics and Jeff banging wooden spoons on my tile countertop. It was GREAT! I made a suggestion (actually a plea) asking the guys to listen to one of my favorite songs. It's practically an unknown lost song of The Pretenders called "I'm a Mother". Chrissy Hinds wails and pants in this song while the guitars play low and dirty...it is...ummm...exciting! After I played it for them they all said, "Let's do it!" I was stoked! Well, they weren't kidding. When I showed up Saturday, they were ready to play my favorite song. I fumbled through it the first time, but by the second round I was wailing and panting just like Chrissy Hinds. Andy took the ball and ran, playing an extended guitar solo that would have brought the house down (if we had one). I almost cried...hahaha, but I didn't!
I didn't know that making a dream come true would actually taste so SWEET. But it is certainly, DELICIOUS!
Thanks Andy, Jeff and Bruce for working so hard to put GirlontheMoon on the map.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
My First Gig
Follow your hunches.
That's my advice.
There was a point where I had to break away from the karaoke bar and start getting myself seen the world of working musicians. I was so scared, I didn't think I was good enough, or that I was ready. I didn't know what would happen once I got there, but the voice kept telling me to go out and check out some local open mic nights. One day on Craigslist there was an ad for open mic and Wahoo's Fish Taco Grill...I sent an e-mail for more information and that is when I met Robert Rankin Walker. He is a gorgeous (married) man who works locally as a musician and books bands in local winery venues. Bands like The Motels...uh ya. I ended up meeting Robert a few days later at The Guitar Center, he played one of my songs for me and I sang pretty well for being nervous. Then I insisted on singing to my pre-recorded music CD's and I made an ASS of myself. I forgot words and totally flubbed my performance. I was humiliated...totally went home with my tail between my legs, I could not WAIT to get out of there. Robert was sweet, he never mentioned it, and he added me on MySpace as a friend. What happened after that is a freakin miracle.
I met another amazing musician named Wayne Cameron. Wayne plays many instruments, sings, and is another extremely handsome man. (pant) Besides that, Wayne became my friend on MySpace, he worked up some of my songs and played for me at another open mic the following week. AT THAT OPEN MIC, I met another musician, Jeff Gaylor who plays drums. Jeff visited my MySpace page and added me as a friend, he asked if he could get involved with my next band project and bring along his bass player, Bruce. Within a week I was meeting Jeff and Bruce at Andy's place (Andy is my guitar player who also found me on Craigslist) and I now have all the components of a band, INCLUDING rehearsal space and all the equipment. No shit. Our first rehearsal is Saturday.
However, this is not the only GOOD NEWS. The best news is, that Robert asked me to sit in on his gig at It's A Grind Coffee House this Saturday and accompany me on a few songs. This is NOT an open mic. This is a GIG. YEP! ME. MOONGIRL singing at a gig. Can you say...ROCKSTAR!!!!
Follow your hunches. This is my advice.
That's my advice.
There was a point where I had to break away from the karaoke bar and start getting myself seen the world of working musicians. I was so scared, I didn't think I was good enough, or that I was ready. I didn't know what would happen once I got there, but the voice kept telling me to go out and check out some local open mic nights. One day on Craigslist there was an ad for open mic and Wahoo's Fish Taco Grill...I sent an e-mail for more information and that is when I met Robert Rankin Walker. He is a gorgeous (married) man who works locally as a musician and books bands in local winery venues. Bands like The Motels...uh ya. I ended up meeting Robert a few days later at The Guitar Center, he played one of my songs for me and I sang pretty well for being nervous. Then I insisted on singing to my pre-recorded music CD's and I made an ASS of myself. I forgot words and totally flubbed my performance. I was humiliated...totally went home with my tail between my legs, I could not WAIT to get out of there. Robert was sweet, he never mentioned it, and he added me on MySpace as a friend. What happened after that is a freakin miracle.
I met another amazing musician named Wayne Cameron. Wayne plays many instruments, sings, and is another extremely handsome man. (pant) Besides that, Wayne became my friend on MySpace, he worked up some of my songs and played for me at another open mic the following week. AT THAT OPEN MIC, I met another musician, Jeff Gaylor who plays drums. Jeff visited my MySpace page and added me as a friend, he asked if he could get involved with my next band project and bring along his bass player, Bruce. Within a week I was meeting Jeff and Bruce at Andy's place (Andy is my guitar player who also found me on Craigslist) and I now have all the components of a band, INCLUDING rehearsal space and all the equipment. No shit. Our first rehearsal is Saturday.
However, this is not the only GOOD NEWS. The best news is, that Robert asked me to sit in on his gig at It's A Grind Coffee House this Saturday and accompany me on a few songs. This is NOT an open mic. This is a GIG. YEP! ME. MOONGIRL singing at a gig. Can you say...ROCKSTAR!!!!
Follow your hunches. This is my advice.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Rockstar and Supermom
I am 42. I know I know, its a little too late to start a singing career. Guess what else? I am a Mom to two wonderfully creative, imaginative and delightful boys. Another strike against me? Well, maybe. But guess what. I don't give a flying fuck.
15 years ago, I was 27 years old. I was working in the theater, I was married, I was making money and having fun with my life. My husband and I decided to have a family, I gave up my career and my dreams to pursue something else...I wanted to be a mom. This was both a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing because I created two of the most amazing people on the planet...Dante and Julian. It was a curse because I gave up the thing I loved to do the most, work on stage. This is what life is about, the Bitter and the Sweet. Yin and Yang. Give and Take. Ebb and Flow. You cannot have one without the other. I have a very dear friend who often blogs about the "seasons" of life, and these were my seasons. I was in the limelight, I was in the labor room, I was in the kitchen, and now...I am back in the limelight. Dig? If not, read on.
I received counseling for years from a friend of mine who is clairvoyant. She is not a freak, she is extremely gifted. She helped me through some extremely tough times in my life. My husband had leukemia and we were destitute for years. My friend worked very hard to get me through those times. When my husband died, she was still there beside me, helping me sift through the grief and pain. One day she had a vision about me. She said, "there are two Lisa's, they are completely opposite from one another, and yet they are both you." at the time I kind of knew what she was talking about, but now I TOTALLY understand. I am a Rockstar and a Supermom.
I don't care if I am 42 and putting together a rock band. I know in my heart that the music is there and it is calling me. I don't care if it has never been done, I am going to work until I am up there gigging, recording and making money. My sons are going to learn something very different than what I was taught as a child. Follow your dream and don't ever forget what it is.
Not to go off on a tangent, but if you ever get a chance to see the movie, "The Pursuit of Happyness" get it. It holds an amazing message. Of course I hope I never have to sleep in a train station bathroom with my children while I build my dream, but the movie provides and incredible lesson. "DON'T EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM." Check it out yo.
15 years ago, I was 27 years old. I was working in the theater, I was married, I was making money and having fun with my life. My husband and I decided to have a family, I gave up my career and my dreams to pursue something else...I wanted to be a mom. This was both a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing because I created two of the most amazing people on the planet...Dante and Julian. It was a curse because I gave up the thing I loved to do the most, work on stage. This is what life is about, the Bitter and the Sweet. Yin and Yang. Give and Take. Ebb and Flow. You cannot have one without the other. I have a very dear friend who often blogs about the "seasons" of life, and these were my seasons. I was in the limelight, I was in the labor room, I was in the kitchen, and now...I am back in the limelight. Dig? If not, read on.
I received counseling for years from a friend of mine who is clairvoyant. She is not a freak, she is extremely gifted. She helped me through some extremely tough times in my life. My husband had leukemia and we were destitute for years. My friend worked very hard to get me through those times. When my husband died, she was still there beside me, helping me sift through the grief and pain. One day she had a vision about me. She said, "there are two Lisa's, they are completely opposite from one another, and yet they are both you." at the time I kind of knew what she was talking about, but now I TOTALLY understand. I am a Rockstar and a Supermom.
I don't care if I am 42 and putting together a rock band. I know in my heart that the music is there and it is calling me. I don't care if it has never been done, I am going to work until I am up there gigging, recording and making money. My sons are going to learn something very different than what I was taught as a child. Follow your dream and don't ever forget what it is.
Not to go off on a tangent, but if you ever get a chance to see the movie, "The Pursuit of Happyness" get it. It holds an amazing message. Of course I hope I never have to sleep in a train station bathroom with my children while I build my dream, but the movie provides and incredible lesson. "DON'T EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM." Check it out yo.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Who is in the Driver's Seat?
We all have an ego. Yup, its a fact. Your Ego is also known as your subconscious self. Typically your subconscious self is a child, or child-like. Your SC is grumpy, doubtful, selfish, self-centered, pouting, degrading and a control freak.
We all have a Higher Consciousness too. The Higher Consciousness is connected to the all-knowing. It speaks in a quiet voice, almost a whisper. Higher Consciousness is kind of like the wind, it can blow you this direction or that direction with gentle guidance. Your Higher Consciousness knows you for your true self, the self you were born into this world to be. Your HC is patient, gentle, loving, healthful and nourishing.
Your physical body is a vehicle. It drives all over town. It drives down the path of your life. Take a look at your vehicle and the road it is on. How would you describe it? Take a moment and write down a few words to describe your physical body and your life. Then look at the first two paragraphs of this post. Who is driving your vehicle, SC or HC?
I have found in my journey that I cannot get rid of SC. She is always there, nagging me, sometimes so loudly I just want to scream at her. I used to think that as long as SC was nagging me I would never succeed. I would never establish any true goals, I would never get to Superstar status. She was always right there telling me I wasn't good enough, I wasn't smart enough or pretty enough...nag, nag, nag. I studied all the books I could find about connecting to HC and no matter how hard I tried, I always heard SC telling me I was never going to accomplish anything.
So, SC is here to stay. I cannot shake her...BUT...she doesn't have to drive my vehicle. I realize SC is a child, and I treat her as such. I give her little games to play, just as if she were three years old. SC loves to be distracted by shiny things, toys, building blocks and puzzles. It makes her think she is doing something important. She still chatters, she still nags...but she is in the BACKSEAT of my vehicle, she is NOT driving. (imagine for a moment if you put a three year old child in the driver's seat of your brand new Porsche...ummm, yikes!)
Now...while SC is busy with her blocks, guess what HC is doing? HC is driving. HC zooms into the future and sees what the possibilities are. It sees who I really want to be. It sees happiness and properity, and when I let HC see the future, it starts paving the road backwards to my present. My HC knows not only how to drive, it also knows how to TELEPORT.
I hear TWO voices now. I hear SC saying, "this is useless, I am so mad that I am in this slump, how am I ever going to get anywhere when the economy is so bad, this is all somebody else's fault, I can never forgive so and so..." Fine. But what is that tug I feel in my gut, what is that other voice saying? It sounds like it is saying "Come over here, I have something INCREDIBLE to show you. You know that lady you met last week? She can totally help you get to that place you've been wanting to go to. Remember the words to that song that keeps playing over and over in your head? That song is trying to tell you something! Why don't you go to the shopping mall tonight and meet your friends at the coffee shop..."
Try this experiment. Quiet the first voice. Follow the second voice. Here are some "busy" things you can give your SC to do, and while SC is busy...let HC soar in the clouds and visit the future.
Take a drive and listen to music
run errands
paint your nails
clean your garage or a closet or a messy room in your house
build a fountain (e-mail me at imaginaryrockstar@hotmail.com and I will tell you how)
play a game
watch a movie
vacuum
exercise
get into your job
sing
cut out coupons
google stuff on the internet or spend some time on E-Bay, Craigslist or YouTube
This sounds like I am telling you to do something mundane, but really you will be multi-tasking. When SC's voice gets really loud, you must allow HC to tell yourself exactly the opposite. See HC pat SC on the head like a toddler and send it back to its busy task. Ask HC, "what is it you want me to see?" and allow yourself to see it. Daydream while you are keeping busy. Feel which way the wind is blowing, smile, breathe and listen. Take the car keys away from the child and let HC drive your vehicle.
We all have a Higher Consciousness too. The Higher Consciousness is connected to the all-knowing. It speaks in a quiet voice, almost a whisper. Higher Consciousness is kind of like the wind, it can blow you this direction or that direction with gentle guidance. Your Higher Consciousness knows you for your true self, the self you were born into this world to be. Your HC is patient, gentle, loving, healthful and nourishing.
Your physical body is a vehicle. It drives all over town. It drives down the path of your life. Take a look at your vehicle and the road it is on. How would you describe it? Take a moment and write down a few words to describe your physical body and your life. Then look at the first two paragraphs of this post. Who is driving your vehicle, SC or HC?
I have found in my journey that I cannot get rid of SC. She is always there, nagging me, sometimes so loudly I just want to scream at her. I used to think that as long as SC was nagging me I would never succeed. I would never establish any true goals, I would never get to Superstar status. She was always right there telling me I wasn't good enough, I wasn't smart enough or pretty enough...nag, nag, nag. I studied all the books I could find about connecting to HC and no matter how hard I tried, I always heard SC telling me I was never going to accomplish anything.
So, SC is here to stay. I cannot shake her...BUT...she doesn't have to drive my vehicle. I realize SC is a child, and I treat her as such. I give her little games to play, just as if she were three years old. SC loves to be distracted by shiny things, toys, building blocks and puzzles. It makes her think she is doing something important. She still chatters, she still nags...but she is in the BACKSEAT of my vehicle, she is NOT driving. (imagine for a moment if you put a three year old child in the driver's seat of your brand new Porsche...ummm, yikes!)
Now...while SC is busy with her blocks, guess what HC is doing? HC is driving. HC zooms into the future and sees what the possibilities are. It sees who I really want to be. It sees happiness and properity, and when I let HC see the future, it starts paving the road backwards to my present. My HC knows not only how to drive, it also knows how to TELEPORT.
I hear TWO voices now. I hear SC saying, "this is useless, I am so mad that I am in this slump, how am I ever going to get anywhere when the economy is so bad, this is all somebody else's fault, I can never forgive so and so..." Fine. But what is that tug I feel in my gut, what is that other voice saying? It sounds like it is saying "Come over here, I have something INCREDIBLE to show you. You know that lady you met last week? She can totally help you get to that place you've been wanting to go to. Remember the words to that song that keeps playing over and over in your head? That song is trying to tell you something! Why don't you go to the shopping mall tonight and meet your friends at the coffee shop..."
Try this experiment. Quiet the first voice. Follow the second voice. Here are some "busy" things you can give your SC to do, and while SC is busy...let HC soar in the clouds and visit the future.
Take a drive and listen to music
run errands
paint your nails
clean your garage or a closet or a messy room in your house
build a fountain (e-mail me at imaginaryrockstar@hotmail.com and I will tell you how)
play a game
watch a movie
vacuum
exercise
get into your job
sing
cut out coupons
google stuff on the internet or spend some time on E-Bay, Craigslist or YouTube
This sounds like I am telling you to do something mundane, but really you will be multi-tasking. When SC's voice gets really loud, you must allow HC to tell yourself exactly the opposite. See HC pat SC on the head like a toddler and send it back to its busy task. Ask HC, "what is it you want me to see?" and allow yourself to see it. Daydream while you are keeping busy. Feel which way the wind is blowing, smile, breathe and listen. Take the car keys away from the child and let HC drive your vehicle.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Following My Dreams
My life has been quite a journey. I never quite understood how to get the things I wanted, I have experienced periods of frustration and questioning, but now I know why. It is because I
question myself. Even though I know I want this wonderful thing, this never-ending creative project that brings me fulfillment...I have never been able to pinpoint what that is exactly. My friend Darrel once said to me "once you decide, God provides". That statement is profoundly true.
I have had tons of brilliant ideas over the last few years, creative projects that I thought would keep my interest or become lucrative, but I was never really able to sink my teeth into any of them. It just didn't feel like ME. It came to the point where I didn't know how to focus on the thing that was truly important to me. So, I asked for help. My meditation/prayer went something like this: "Help me find the thing that is truly important to me and provide the means and knowledge to pull it off."
Its hard to explain the series of events that happened after I made this request. Mostly it was the mundane packaging job that I had for 8 weeks, I was able to keep my subconscious busy with the packaging and send my higher consciousness out to receive answers to my questions. This is important because the subconscious is the part that holds us back. The subconscious wants to control everything, the subconscious says "its not possible, you aren't good enough, it can't be done" and when you start believing that it becomes true.
Finally I heard the answer. Get out there and start singing, build a band project that is completely irresistable, be a rockstar in your heart, magnetize your image and people will start following you.
After that happened, I started talking to people. I made up these wicked awesome business cards and would hand them out at work and just start telling people about my vocals. It created interest, I got visitors to my YouTube video and more visitors to my MySpace page. I made a connection with my neighbor who knows how to promote anything. Then I went to open mics around town...more exposure, more interest. I placed an ad on Craigslist and other local classified sites looking for musicians who want to work fast and hard on an amazing project. I am now making friends and connections I never knew possible. I found a guitar player who wants to work and get songs down asap.
I have been joking around calling myself the "imaginary rockstar", and at first I kind of thought that might be a negative vibe to send out to the universe, but I realize now it is not. I have to imagine it first. I have to see it in my mind and believe it can be real. Now I dress like a rockstar, I do my hair, I wear make-up...I stand tall...I don't apologize. Andy told me, "you have to be a diva", and so I am.
Being a rockstar fulfills another requirement. I get to work at home, and be with my kids. My subconscious tells me I cannot do this. I cannot make enough money promoting a rockband. hmmmm. QUIET SUBCONSCIOUS! Take a seat and let the Universe figure this out!
Oh, the name of my band is "GirlontheMoon". We rock.
question myself. Even though I know I want this wonderful thing, this never-ending creative project that brings me fulfillment...I have never been able to pinpoint what that is exactly. My friend Darrel once said to me "once you decide, God provides". That statement is profoundly true.
I have had tons of brilliant ideas over the last few years, creative projects that I thought would keep my interest or become lucrative, but I was never really able to sink my teeth into any of them. It just didn't feel like ME. It came to the point where I didn't know how to focus on the thing that was truly important to me. So, I asked for help. My meditation/prayer went something like this: "Help me find the thing that is truly important to me and provide the means and knowledge to pull it off."
Its hard to explain the series of events that happened after I made this request. Mostly it was the mundane packaging job that I had for 8 weeks, I was able to keep my subconscious busy with the packaging and send my higher consciousness out to receive answers to my questions. This is important because the subconscious is the part that holds us back. The subconscious wants to control everything, the subconscious says "its not possible, you aren't good enough, it can't be done" and when you start believing that it becomes true.
Finally I heard the answer. Get out there and start singing, build a band project that is completely irresistable, be a rockstar in your heart, magnetize your image and people will start following you.
After that happened, I started talking to people. I made up these wicked awesome business cards and would hand them out at work and just start telling people about my vocals. It created interest, I got visitors to my YouTube video and more visitors to my MySpace page. I made a connection with my neighbor who knows how to promote anything. Then I went to open mics around town...more exposure, more interest. I placed an ad on Craigslist and other local classified sites looking for musicians who want to work fast and hard on an amazing project. I am now making friends and connections I never knew possible. I found a guitar player who wants to work and get songs down asap.
I have been joking around calling myself the "imaginary rockstar", and at first I kind of thought that might be a negative vibe to send out to the universe, but I realize now it is not. I have to imagine it first. I have to see it in my mind and believe it can be real. Now I dress like a rockstar, I do my hair, I wear make-up...I stand tall...I don't apologize. Andy told me, "you have to be a diva", and so I am.
Being a rockstar fulfills another requirement. I get to work at home, and be with my kids. My subconscious tells me I cannot do this. I cannot make enough money promoting a rockband. hmmmm. QUIET SUBCONSCIOUS! Take a seat and let the Universe figure this out!
Oh, the name of my band is "GirlontheMoon". We rock.
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